Beating Myself Up

Periodically, though my life is very full as the mother of a young child, I beat myself up for not progressing with my "art." People ask me to send the photos out, and if it's not one thing, then it's another that hampers me.

I went through a huge bout of beating myself up, and I finally got sick of it. I tried to understand what it was all about. And I realized it came down to the fact that I am mostly self-taught. Even though I have a major in photography, I did it at a university where there was no photography department, and I carved out a dual major photography/literature for myself.

Instead of honoring the fact that I was a trailblazer with the power of conviction, I let my insecurities win, time and time again, forgetting that some of the images that have come through my lens and then through my computer, have deeply inspired and touched people.

What is more precious than that? No degree nor schooling can give me that. Nor anyone else, for that matter.

And so once I crawled out of the valley of self-flagellation (for now) and claimed what I have done (which includes having photos published in Yoga Journal and French Vogue, and a solo-art exhibit in Paris, as well as the joy that friends have experienced when they have received a mandala or a Polaroid transfer), I realized that the obstacles that seemed as high as the Himalayas, are actually nearly as flat as Holland.

One Thing a Day

Years ago, Andrew Semel, a photographer and friend I worked with when I was an editor at a German magazine told me something that has stuck with me.

He said, "If you do just one thing for your career every day, you'll have done 365 things in one year."

After my first exhibit in Paris, we (hubby, firstborn and me) moved to Southern France into an appart'hotel where we lived for four months. I got pregnant with our second child, we moved into our new home, and then we lost our baby.

I had wanted to do that one thing a day, but in the turmoil of the move and then the grief with our second child, I never got around to it until now.

I am officially considered an artist in France and am a member of the Maison des Artistes. The paperwork involved has been a bit intimidating but a few days ago I made some well placed calls, got some answers, got the right document (I hope) and submitted my first declaration of income for 2008, a whopping 70 Euros.

Two days ago, I sent my address change for "me as the artist" to the local income tax office.

Yesterday, thanks to a template that my friend, Caroll, who is a graphic artist and also a member of the Maison des Artistes, sent me, I created a template for an invoice in the required format, with the correct wording (for the time being, I am sales tax exempt). I also created a template for a delivery receipt.

Yesterday I rekindled an idea a friend of mine had, which was to do a dance performance connected with some of my Moving Australia photo series. We have to brain storm the practicality of it all, but it's now in my consciousness and I hope inspiration will give us some ideas.

Today, I connected with two friends who are graphic artists (thanks Stephane and Diane). I had questions about JPEGs in general, how to keep them from becoming corrupt, and about photo quality in general. Stef and Diane helped me understand the process a little better and from now on, I plan on taking photos in at least a TIF format (better quality/less compression).

Next on my list, writing the text for my website and selecting the photos, as well as figuring out how to syndicate my photos, both the artwork and the travel photos.

Drew was so right, one thing a day (and I'm finding when I do one thing, I usually do two or more)...imagine, in a year, I will have done 365 things towards putting my artwork out into the world.

Let's see where you will find me on July 3, 2010.

Stay tuned.

The End

I recently read Eckhart Tolle's insightful book, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose. In it, Eckhart says that the end does not justify the means. That is to say that if you are working on a project for two years, and during that time, you are nasty to your family, the project wasn't worth it.

I kept this quote very much in mind as I prepared the show. There was a lot to do in a short amount of time, and of course, things went wrong. The screws didn't fit into the metal holders for the frames, the hardware store didn't have screws, etc., etc.

But I am happy to say that I kept calm, and most importantly I stayed respectful to those around me.

(I checked with my husband during our weekly meeting, and he confirmed that this is true and not just wishful thinking on my part!)

Exhibit

Two days before my first solo exhibit in Paris, France, up very late working to get the details done, this quote from my daily German calendar made me laugh:

"Niemand auf der Welt bekommt soviel dummes Zeug zu hoeren wie die Bilder einer Austellung." Edmond de Goncourt.

Translation: Nobody on this Earth gets to hear as much dumb talk as the pictures in an exhibit.

First (Solo) Photo Exhibit in Paris

I am honored to have the Red Earth Centre host my first photo exhibit in Paris. The reception/vernissage will be held on Saturday, June 14, 2008 from 17h - 20h, at 235 rue Lafayette, 75010 Paris. Please call 06.10.89.76.04 for the door code, or visit www.redearthcentre.com for further information regarding the code, as well as opening hours.

The exhibit will run for an undetermined length of time.

Museum quality prints will be for sale, as well as standard quality prints in all sizes, as well as cards and bookmarks.

Also, if you see any photos on the blog http://photomandala.blogspot.com that you are interested in purchasing, please contact me at dyaenglert@gmail.com.